"My life ended when I had my first child…. and I went straight to hell."
Does Martha ever stop talking? Of course not, however there is an upside, you see when Martha talks, you're laughing.
Welcome to Motor Mouth Martha, hilarity done Martha style.
"I found your porn, don’t think I don’t know what Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium is"
"Marty I dont recall entering an internet lottery, but we won! Find my bank details… they need it to transfer the $2 million"
"could you please pick me up? I drove my car into another and I dont have insurance, quickly before they return to their car"
"There is no such thing as microwaves. They are just instruments for the lazy and dumb. Son why don’t you go out and buy yourself one."
"where is the priest? He was to be here to bless the house. Since I killed that raccoon I’ve been feeling a presence about the house"
"I don’t know how asians get their drivers license. If I drove with my eyes three quarters closed on my drivers test they would fail me."
"It bothers me the image we send kids. Lassie should have been male, a female dog’s purpose is birthing litters not saving people down wells"
"my recipes are like Dan Brown novels. Lies, betrayals, and someone always dies in the conclusion"
